Christmas is one of the world’s greatest sexual holidays. It brings people together, forming friction, forming a release. We eat, we drink, we smile and then exchange gifts for sexual favors. It’s just what we do.
There’s so much foreplay involved with the entire holiday. About one month prior, Daddy places mood lighting on the entire perimeter of the home while mommy erects a tree and places tassels on it. Arguably the most sexual night of the holiday is Christmas Eve. Mommy and Daddy sneak downstairs to eat each other’s cookies and milk one another. Daddy stuffs Mommy’s stockings and goes in and out of that dark, soot covered chimney we all call an anus!
There’s really just no way of thinking about Christmas without thinking about humping. Lets put the Christ back in Christmas, and the humping back into the holidays with your Christmas Holiday Humping Mix.
Happy Holidays from We Are The Television!
You can also listen to We Are The Television’s Christmas Holiday Humping Mix on Spotify.
Oozing Wound fucking kills. After seeing them tear it up a few times around Chicago, I had to check them out at the Wicker Park Emporium Barcade for Darkness night. I also wanted to get some of that Surly Darkness. Moral Void, DIM, and Krayola were also on the bill. When I got there, I had to try one of them Russian Imperial Stouts before I could do anything else. I asked for the barrel aged Surly Darkness 2014 because I figured I could probably pick up a 2015 later on and it was a dollar cheaper than the 2013 (I like good beer but I’m also kind of a cheap-ass). The Bartender goes to pour it and it’s gone! Just my luck, so I get the Surly Darkness 2013… and god damn that is an amazing stout. Strong and thick with a perfect chocolate and cherry blend. Such a massive taste and it got me feeling it quick.
DIM is playing and I’m just loving it. Their sound is heavy. Straight doom aesthetic but a simplicity to it that gets everybody rocking, not just the metalheads. I’m always a fan of something you can sit back and bang your head to. Well this is banging, it’s also hypnotizing. The droning synth and railing chords are enough to suck you in the and keep you there. DIM just put out this album in October and I already want more.
I stuck with Surly for the night and got their Cacao and Hell Lager. Good shit. If your cool enough with the bartenders at Emporium they’ll give you a handful of tokens with your drink and you’ll be playing games all night! Tip them well and try your best to not be a loser.
As usual, Oozing Wound kept it interesting. They shred harder every time I see them. I wouldn’t be surprised if all they do is practice. Their set was accompanied by a backdrop of a Dual Skier Competition which was hilarious and at times it was epic. In some odd way, it worked. See it for yourself! (Mute the video and turn on some Oozing Wound for the soundtrack) They also make some great music videos! Check them out below.
My only complaint for the night was that Burger Time was still broken. I love Burger Time so I was a little bummed. I still enjoyed pinball and Ms. Pacman, but it’s just not the same. So I’ve embedded the game right here for you to play while you get down to Oozing Wound.
Beer of the Night: 2013 Surly Darkness – A smooth and thick Russian Imperial chocolate stout with fruity notes and just a massive flavor to it. It’s going to get you fucked up.
House Party baby! Get wild and let loose to a sick lineup at The Church of Think in Chicago’s Humboldt Park today (12.12.15). The music starts at 8:00PM, its BYOB, and it’s FREE! How the hell could it get any better than that? There’ll be great bands and some DJ’s spinning vinyl between sets. The whole shindig was put together by Elle Quintana, a talent buyer at Reggie’s for the past 16 years who just wants to have a good time, so be sure to thank her and pour her a shot for this madness. The bands include: Big Syn, Murder Boots, Guerilla, Blue Dream, and Killer Moon. A perfect blend of party psych punk rock doom blues bitchin’ n rippin’. Get ready to get lifted to the next level or just black out completely. Its your choice and your’s alone. RSVP to the show and ask someone for the address to the party HERE. Listen to some tunes by Killer Moon below to get you in the mood.
Guerilla, long time Chicago rockers and ragers step it up a notch every time they play. They can be seen in their best form this Saturday (12.12.15) at a house party in Chicago’s Humboldt Park. The party is at a Church/DIY venue called The Church of Think. The last time Guerilla played a house party, the basement was littered with holes from everyone’s fists and the bathroom was surrendered to an all enveloping layer of puke with a toilet ripped from the ground. Albeit, this was at a punk house in Indiana, so that’s probably the usual scenario anyway. It’s been a little under two years since their release of “Everyone’s An Idiot” and the album’s still rockin! Check it out below. It’s been a while though, so I’m sure they’ll have some new songs to bang our heads to this Saturday. The other bands on the bill are Killer Moon, Blue Dream, Murder Boots, and Big Syn. That’s a sweet lineup! RSVP for the show and ask someone for the address to the show HERE.
Black Box Revelation is a Belgian duo and a garage rock powerhouse that have recently released their fourth studio album, “Highway Cruiser”. The band is made up of Jan Paternoster on vocals and guitar and Dries Van Dijck on drums and percussion. You probably haven’t heard too much of BBR if you’re living in America. That’s because of all 4 albums and 2 EPs, only one album and EP have been put out in the United States (which was not “Highway Cruiser”) on Merovee Records, which is partially owned by David Letterman. It’s unfortunate that their whole catalog of music isn’t as easily accessible in the United States, but that’s not going to stop us from getting a hold of all of it and spinning the crap out of it.
I got a chance to check out Black Box Revelation when they opened for the Meat Puppets in 2011 at The Double Door in Chicago. These guys pack a fucking punch and don’t need a bass player or a second guitarist to deliver. From their intense live show to their beautifully produced music videos, they seem to stand right up to par with all the legendary greats they’ve been influenced by. Check out a mix of a bunch of their music videos below:
It’s been 4 years since their last album, “My Perception“, so we had some high expectations for “Highway Cruiser”. The album does not disappoint! It only took them a few days of tracking at an all analog studio and used a simple 2 microphone setup for the drums. This bare bones setup makes for the same old Black Box Revelation that we all want to hear. Very raw and soulful, with all the glorious imperfections of a truly rock sound right in plain view for the listener to feast upon. They have managed to elevate their sound to a more refined level without needing 10 producers, auto-tune, and all the other digital post-production crutches of today. As I’ve said before, they have made “Highway Cruiser” a difficult album to obtain in the U.S. at this moment, but it is out there. Take a listen to one of the tracks off of the album that can be streamed right now below. It is ironically titled “I Can’t Find It”. Get your hands on a copy of “Highway Cruiser” and go see them live when you get a chance! Also, be the first to watch their new music video for “Live Forever” off of “Highway Cruiser” today (12.7.15) right HERE!
Tonight’s the night! It’s been a rough week at work, and everyone’s ready to let loose and make a lot of terrible decisions. This is the perfect chance to make a move on that coworker that’s been kind of giving you a look like every once in a while, maybe. It’s a great time to slam a few drinks down with your boss and tell him how you really feel. Tell him about that great idea you had about working from home on Fridays and how he can do better at his job. Oh boy… This is going to be a great night and an even better Monday with no regrets and no shame! Here’s the gossip around the office:
Have fun ladies, but not too much fun!
Oh Don, you dog you… I wonder what his intention’s are?
We feel ya Deb.. We don’t trust him either. He’s a real creep!
Tonight’s guaranteed to be the highlight of the year! Janice will probably be talking about it for the next few months until something else eventful happens in that old bag’s life; like the news or the weather or something or whatever…
But seriously, get pumped for the bands playing at the COMPANY PARTY HOLIDAY SHIT SHOW FUCK FEST at Cole’s in Chicago tonight! It starts at 9:00PM, it’s FREE, and the bands playing are Mawrcrest, Jude Shuma, & Red Francis. I know we’ve told you about Mawrcrest and Red Francis, but have you listened to Jude Shuma? If you haven’t heard Jude Shuma yet, quit being dumb. Check his shit out!
Jude Shuma is lo-fi nu-wave pysch rock and a Chicago native. His first EP “Afternoonified” was mixed in his personal apartment studio and it’s already a (self-proclaimed) cult classic! One of the tunes was even featured on HBO‘s original series, Ballers. Take a listen to Jude Shuma’s “Afternoonified” below and RSVP to the COMPANY PARTY HOLIDAY SHIT SHOW FUCK FEST right HERE.
Our second installment of “Songs For Humping,” comes with great pleasure. After some gut busting Thanksgiving gluttony, real life coitus happened for yours truly over the long holiday. It was some real tip thrusting stuff, real humping, and real humping with a human woman at that. You’re probably wondering, what in the world did they listen to while they were humping, well… it was Songs For Humping Mix 1, of course!
We cued up that sucker and let the sucking ensue. Sucking led to more sucking and before we knew it, there was full on humping, it was real sex all right. We were having full on freaky-deaky sex, and it definitely felt warm.
The playlist guided our guilty, regretful decision into different moves such as the JOLIET JACKHAMMER and the BOUNCE HOUSE. It was crazy! The sex was wet and featured the likes of many fluids. The Songs For Humping Mix 1 lasted as long as we did and the icing on the cake was the comment about how much she enjoyed the music.
I’m telling you people, play this music, have some fun, and enjoy your new Songs For Humping Mix 2.
You can also listen to Songs for Humping 2 on Spotify:
Mawrcrest. That’s a mouthful. Avant garde rock music or straight filthy rock, whatever you want to call it… Mawrcrest’s “Never Seen” has a sound so familiar yet unique to themselves. It’s popular American rock music dragged through the dirt and back again. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it’s on repeat. This Chicago power trio made up of Anthony Ferretti, Lena Rush, and Mario Coletta put out this 6 song EP on Aerial Ballet Records in March of 2014. It has been a while, so the physical CDs have sold out since then. I’m selfishly glad that I got a copy before that happened, but no worries, you can still download a digital copy of “Never Seen” as well as their first EP “Whisker Music” on their bandcamp page. They’ll be playing the COMPANY PARTY HOLIDAY SHIT SHOW FUCK FEST at Cole’s in Chicago this Friday (12.4.15) and it’s FREE! You’re not gonna want to miss it. RSVP HERE.
Catch The Evening Attraction with some other cool acts at Club Soda, Chicago DIY venue, tonight (11.28.15)! The show starts at 8:00pm and they’ll be playing with Red Francis, Post Animal, and The Holy Motors who all rock n’ roll and kick ass so get there right when it starts. It has been about a year and a half since they put out the album “Almost Desperate” and it’s still fresh as hell. This is yet another one of the great albums to come out of Chicago’s Treehouse Records. It even features one of the owners of Treehouse Records, Matt Gieser, on drums. The Evening Attraction’s BopPop sound is a calming breath of fresh air amongst the wide variety of rock that the diverse Chicago scene has to offer. They have simplified and stripped rock n’ roll to it’s core with “Almost Desperate”, leaving us with pop songs that soothe and groove. Check out the album below and RSVP for their show tonight right HERE!
Post Animal, a heavy psych pop group from Chicago, IL just put out an album on Oct. 27th, 2015 recorded and produced completely by themselves titled, “Post Animal Perform the Most Curious Underwater Activities”. The album jams! From start finish, it moves you through an underwater world of colored and mutating textures. The overall theme of the album remains consistent in the song titles to the abstract production that swims from song to song. It’s a very chill album, but more than the psychedelic record that propels you to listen only after lighting up a bowl and melting into your couch. There’s dancing, there’s head-banging, it’s rock n’ roll. Post Animal is Dalton Allison, Jake Hirshland, Joe Keery, and Matt Williams. Watch them live at Chicago DIY spot, Club Soda, this Saturday (11.28.15) with Red Francis, The Evening Attraction, and The Holy Motors. RSVP HERE.